A couple Cebu stories - Reading Discretion is Advised

I'm told I don't post enough so here I go...here's a couple random stories from Cebu which I wrote on the way to to Hong Kong . Bosses and parents may not wish to read on as the following blog contains real stories featuring real people (but I know some of you will anyways). You have been warned..


Shocking Finds on Fashion Avenue

When Kat got here she said that she found an awesome place to shop at the local mall. Awesome, of course, means lots of fake clothes at silly cheap prices.

Fashion Avenue seems to be less of a store and more of a random collection of stalls. Almost like a flea market full of club clothes, sequend purses, disco balls, and discount wedding rings. To say the least, I enjoyed the cluttered mayhem.

About 90-95% of the place was women's clothing; filled to the brim with Wilter scarves and Louise Vuitton handbags. The men's section was small but silly with Afliction shirts (note the spelling) and designer LV hats with upside down logos.

As I got lost in the murky merchandise I did find a few shirts which I wanted to try on. For the price (both less than 10 Canadian) it was a snap; but I did not trust the sizes. Shirts in the Philipinnes are more fickle than in Europe and I wasn't about to buy 2 carwash rags (I don't own a car anyways). I quick jaunt to the change room was all I needed to secure my purchase of kontraband. One of the few men's fashion outlets seemed to have the necessary facilities so I tempted fate and entered.

It seemed like a normal change room. Sure, it was thrown together out of random sheets and contained numerous boxes in the corners but there was a full sized mirror to my right which ensured I made the right choice.

Then i turned to the left.

I was greeted by a full sized glass case full of rubber genetalia. You name it and they had it.

So the shirt fit, I left the room, made my purchase (the shirt, you sicko) and then promptly left the store.

I met Tyler outside of Fashion Avenue and told him all about my experience. He returned the favor (another story to match mine, sicko) with one of his own including him in the public washroom surrounded my locals who constantly stared at him as he used the facilities. I instantly felt better about my own circumstance and we headed out to the patio for beers.

Theivery at Bubbles

While staying at the local hotel we all utilize a local laundramat to get our clothes clean without paying hotel prices. Blue Bubbles is situated right down the street from our hotel and offers quick and clean service with little issue. That is, unless you are me and have to put up with the constant flirtation from one of the employees (picture a female who seems to undress you with her laugh; trust me its not as great as it sounds). But this story isn't about me, it's about Tyler.

Being the youngest of the group, a lot of the ladies here like to tease Tyler. One of his many lifestyle choices which gets a quip from time to time is his choice of socks. The man enjoys his white ankle socks. Not that I can blame him (I'm wearing a pair as I'm typing this) but the ladies like to tease him on his "un-masculine" choice in foot covers. Let's face it though; it's way to hot here to put on the warm woolies.

Teasing aside, Tyler mentioned that he had quite a rapport with the ladies at Bubbles. He would arrive every week and would offer light conversation while dropping off his usual bag full of his work and casuals. That is, until, he noticed his return bag was a little lighter.

Tyler arrived in Cebu with eight pairs of white ankle socks. Eight gloious pairs of short shoe comforters. In a few short weeks he was down to four. He was confounded by the experience at first but didn't think much of it. That is, until, he next returned to the laundramat.

Upon arrival Tyler noticed that none of the ladies provided the same level of conversation he was used to. He also took note of the general lack of eye contact. His eyes tracked down and he quickly found out why.

All the ladies were wearing white ankle socks.

What was he to do? Would he accuse them of theft under four pairs? Was such a statment worth ruining an otherwise happy business transaction? Would he take stand and put up with hotel service for the rest of his stay?

The short answer is no. He merely continued his usual routine and the criminal act remained unjudged and unavenged. For now on, though, he limits his sock intake to one pair at a time.*

*Alright, Deb and I made that last part up, but it's funny and we firmly believe this policy should be instated*

I guess the moral of this store is don't put all your socks in one load or ensure your mom labels your socks as well as your underwear.